10w4d update

I'm glad you are all taking the ice water testicle advice seriously. Go and spread the news. I think we are on the brink of eliminating infertility altogether with this breakthrough.

It's been a fairly intense few weeks. I know there was a lot going on in the external world, but I've been focused inward. There's a way in which I feel not very present in my life, but I realize an internal focus is an appropriate point of perspective for pregnancy (did you like the aliteration?).

Women, I don't even know how to thank you for literaly carrying me on your shoulders in the last few weeks. I was SUCH a wreck in the week leading up to the last ultrasound and you let me go on about it and offered the most compassionate comments and emails. Thank you for understanding my level of panic, and letting me get through it without telling me to buck up. There are times when you can't even begin to hold yourself together, you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I feel like my simple thank you isn't really illustrative of how grateful I am to you all. I guess you'll have to trust me on that one. I owe you all big time.

I'm probably on the verge of another freak out, calculated by the length of time since the last ultrasound and the amount of time until the next one (August 28). But while I am relatively calm (I'll qualify that later), let me give you an update on this pregnancy.

First Prenatal Visit
I met with my family doctor last week for my first prenatal visit. My family doc continues to be a superstar. I think she spent 45 minutes with me that day, the time needed to do the physical and to answer all my questions. My weight was right at pre-transfer level. I did lose about 4-5 pounds in the first few weeks because of the nausea, but seem to have adjusted. I don't know how this whole weight gain business is going to go for me, but I'm keeping an open mind.

I asked my doctor about whether she would refer me to a local OB or to the MFM clinic in the big university hospital center 30 minutes away. She thought about it, and called me later to say that she would refer me, and if they felt the referral inappropriate, they would flip it back to her. That's what happened. So a regular OB it is, which is completely fine with me. It means that if (when, Augusta, when) there is a baby to be delivered, it will be in Pleasantville and not 30 minutes away. She booked me with a new OB in town, about whom she's heard very good things. My appointment is October 5 - which seems like a couple lightyears away.

I had a concern about my iron levels, since I sort of cheated and never took a true prenatal vitamin. Instead, I've been taking a multi without iron every other day, and a multi with low iron on the other days, as well as extra calcium, high powered folic acid, vitamin D and probiotics. I figured I had most of my bases covered with that cocktail, but I was anxious for blood work. My iron came back A-ok. She noted that my B-12 was on the low end of average and asked me to supplement, which I promptly did. Otherwise, all was well on my insides.

She tried the doppler, but at 9w2d, she was really not sure whether she would find it. We had that conversation in my last first prenatal visit, and we never found the heartbeat. She was quick to reassure me that it most often couldn't be found this early, but in reality, owlet didn't have a heartbeat anymore. This time, she couldn't really find it either. Except when we both heard it very briefly and then lost it. I was nauseous on that day and many days since, so I'm trying not to read into it.

I made arrangements for my integrated prenatal screening, which includes an ultrasound at 12w. I'll probably be a wreck again, but I will get through it. August 28 will not come fast enough.

Weaning   
This past Wednesday was the last day to be on all my meds. I was still taking estr.ace, prome.trium, and del.estrogen. As per my instructions from SG, I stoped taking them. Yesterday was my first drug free day. I had some UES throughout the afternoon, and made the mistake of calling it cramping. Bad mistake. By the time I got home after work, I did what any red-blooded infertile would do and shoved some progesterone up my hoo-ha. I feel like a crack addict, except my bliss comes with messy vaginal discharge. Will I get through the day without falling off the wagon - we'll see.

Ok, I guess I am technically at work and should do some work. Have a great weekend.