welcome weaning? not sure

First of all, I know. I know, I know, I know. The placenta takes over. By about 10 weeks, it's all placenta all the time.

Still. I am experiencing weaning worries.

Probably not entirely rational.

On Monday, after the ultrasound, I got a call from the U.S. RE congratulating us on the great u/s and the continuing pregnancy. I tried to ask him questions about weaning and he referred me back to the nursing staff. I decided not to be a door mat and just voice what my concern was. He still was quick to get me off the phone, but tried to answer my question. He seemed very sure in saying that ovaries don't do anything once the placenta takes over.

That's also what my research on the subject has led me to believe, but when one has ovaries that cannot be visualized on an u/s and have never put out any amount of estrogen or progesterone, one has to be 100% sure of this. There's another life at stake now.

The nurse phoned later on in the day. She said that she wanted me to stop my PIO the next day and start prometrium. I balked. At 7w1d? Are you kidding me? When I expressed my discomfort, she showed a willingness to negotiate. While she asks me to trust the treatment team, she also wants me to be comfortable with the steps taken. She mentioned that most women want to get off the injections as soon as is possible, and so that's why the transition to vaginal progesterone happens now in their protocol. I said I had no problem at all with sticking a 1.5" needle in my ass every night (and two on some nights) for as long as it takes. So, I bought myself another week of PIO. Weird on this brings me greater peace of mind.

I am waiting to receive the weaning schedule, but our nurse said that I would be off all medications by August 15. That will be week 10, when it's all placenta all the time.

Dr. RE, our local doctor, wanted to make sure that was well handled, because of what happened last time. We established that the m/c didn' happen because of a lack of progesterone, since I was due to completely wean the day of the u/s of doom. It's hard to have one doc who says we should be cautious and one doc who says you're just like everyone else.

Maybe I am just like everyone else, or other women who go through DE. But the fear is that my complete failure in having a working reproductive system is somehow going to affect the pregnancy. It's not that crazy to think that, really, since we are talking about reproduction. On the other hand, we aren't talking about reproduction anymore (that happened in the lab already), but talking about gestation. And perhaps gestation really is all placenta all the time.

I am thanking my lucky starts that Dr. RE went ahead and booked me for an u/s at 9w. SG did not order another u/s and so I would not have had one until 12w or so through my family physician. That would have meant getting through many weeks of FEAR and ANXIETY without any reassurance (ok, the constant nausea helps to remind me of what's going on).

On a much sadder note, my heart breaks for Jay who just found out yesterday that her little one did not make it. Please go send her some love if you'd like.