penetrating

No, this is not a post about fifty shades of grey. I'm referring to needles.

I went back to Dr. Ninja last Friday. It was sweet to be back. I didn't get to see the good doctor, but saw his lovely protege. She stayed far from dogmatism in her approach and remained flexible when I expressed discomfort at taking the herbs (in tea form) at this stage in the cycle. The US clinic advises against it, and I want to follow their instructions at this point. She was a-ok with that and said we would focus on acupuncture. She also didn't lose her cool when I said that I had reduced coffee but still was having a little. I know that the clinic's approach is NO CAFFEINE. But even last time around I wasn't able to completely abide by that. I still had black tea and green tea through the DE cycle and the pregnancy. So, is 8 oz of coffee really going to obliterate my chances with this DE cycle. No. I'm pretty sure there is no evidence that it would.

It was good to get back to acupuncture. I felt very grounded by the treatment and it started my weekend off in the best possible frame of mind. Being back to Dr. Ninja's centre helped put me in the treatment cycle frame of mind. I feel like this is fully game on now.

It's funny the things we do and don't do while on a treatment cycle. What impact do they really have? Who the hell knows? It's groping in the dark, really. I mean, I have held back from downing a 40-oz bottle of vodka. I somehow think this omission can only work in my favour. But otherwise, it all feels so fucking random. At the end of the day, I can do what I think is right, given what I know, and trust that this is enough. And that's what I'm doing.

I've started the dele.strogen shots last week. I started the cycle strong with my first ever self-administrated IM shot in the rump. I felt like Xena, warrior princess. I highly recommend trying this at least once. I'm ready to take on those shots any day (and guess what? PIOs are starting next week. FUN!).

The donor is starting her stims on Friday, according to the schedule. I am aware every day that things could not unfold as planned, that it could be canceled, that the donor could pull out, that...But I am working with the facts. And the fact is, for now, that this cycle is in full swing.