November

It appears I missed posting in November altogether. I squeaked one post in at the beginning, but then I had to temporarily abandon this blog and spend time writing elsewhere. I wrote a novel in November, thanks to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I could have stopped in to write about the experience of writing, but there was no time for that. Every time Gummy napped, I wrote the novel. And I made it to 50 000 words by November 30. I'm not sure how.

Well, actually, I do know how. I focused on the quantity instead of the quality. I had an idea of the plot and characters, and made a rough plan ahead of time, but then during the month of November, I just wrote. I did NO editing. And I stuck to that rule, which is why I got to the end of the month with my 50 000 words.

But let me be clear: the novel I wrote is a few neighbourhoods south of Terrible.

Seriously.

I don't think the grammar is even something recognizable as English (I know what you're thinking: that's not a far cry from these posts, which I do try to edit before posting. But at least I have the excuse of being an ESL person).

I did this to reclaim some of the pieces of my identity I felt have been far out of reach since Gummy's arrival. I needed something just to myself. Something contained, achievable, confidence-boosting, fun, engrossing. And it was all that.

When I asked Mr. A in October if he would support me in doing this, however he was able, he said yes. And he mostly did that. There were a few frustrating moments when I wanted to write but he couldn't take care of Gummy, but that's par for the course. He also pointed out when we talked about it in October, that doing NaNoWriMo might make me feel better than sitting on the couch watching shit TV every night. He didn't say this in a blaming or condescending way. He just wanted me to do things that make me feel better about myself.

He was right.

I like shit TV, but I like writing even more.

So, I'm trying to figure out the balance between relaxing while watching Girl (what a gem that is) and using what little free time I have to a) get shit done and b) pursue my interests. I figure I'll feel somewhat happy about my balancing skills the day before I go back to work from mat leave, and then I'll have to start over.