Donor selected: back to the waiting place

I am pleased to report that a donor was selected. After much thought, we didn't go with either of the top two, but instead selected a donor that appeared on the list more recently. I liked her profile as much as the other two. She met all our requirements. And she had a very darling picture of herself as a 5-year-old that just made my heart melt like gelato on a summer day. She doesn't look like me as much as donor A , and her essays didn't inspire me as much as donor B, but globally, the information we had made her our top choice. You make decisions with the information you have available at the time, your most discerning judgement and your best intentions. I've done all that I can do.

We are sharing the donor's generous gift with one other party, and were the first couple in the match. So now we wait for another couple* to select her. We're back to the waiting place


From Dr. Seuss' "Oh! The places you'll go!"

 I am glad that this part is done. There was a lot to consider in making this choice. There were our needs and our beliefs about genetic contributions to personhood. There was the healthy development of a potential baby. There was the health and well being of the donor. It was mind boggling. I thought a lot about Sattva through this process. She is certainly the donor we priviledged, but it was not to be.

Tomorrow will be 1 year since Sattva's egg retrieval, and from then on, I get to revisit all the important dates of the pregnancy. I flinch a little when people talk about April 2. It was the day we saw the positive pregnancy tests. At the same time, I know my work is to keep looking ahead and putting one foot in front of the other. I am guessing we will be going south in May for the embryo transfer. I am trying to focus on that, knowing that there will be sadness in the months ahead, but knowing that life is asking me to look forward to what's ahead, to our next attempt at becoming parents.



*I use couple, but am aware that it could also be a single woman, or any other arrangement of a family grouping as long as there is a uterus involved.