thinly

While thin is a nice adjective to hear about one's figure, it certainly is not a great word to hear about one's uterine lining. Am I surprised? Nah.

The lining was only 6.5 mm this morning and not anywhere in the neighborhood of triple striped, or whatever that description is. Dr. RE used compact, or dense to describe what it lacked. He said it took a long time to visualize on the u/s, noting that good linings are identifiable within 3 seconds (for my and the medical fellow's benefit).

Our clinic changed their monitoring venue at the end of April last year, so I never actually went to their new digs. Women used to have to go one place for the bloodwork, and then drive up to the hospital for the u/s. Hospital parking was an expensive and time consuming ordeal.* At the new outpost, parking is free. And the location is closer to the highway, which is great when one is driving from afar.

I was so pleased to see that the physician on call was Dr. RE. It could have so easily been a different one, as there are 5 or 6 of them who are part of the team. I hadn't seen him since our big discussion in the fall and felt immensely reassured to see him and talk to him. He asked how the injections were going and talked about the fact that he wished he could prescribe this, but Dele.strogen isn't available in Canada. We both quickly agreed that the Dele.strogen was insufficient and that I would be back there shortly for more monitoring.

You'd expect to find me frustrated and disappointed. But I'm not. I've just been feeling grateful all morning. Grateful that I have such a great doctor, and a great team who have been helping us on this difficult journey. Grateful that we are able to go to the U.S. for DE IVF through the financial help of our parents. Grateful to have such amazing friends who have supported us, loved us, placed innumerable international phonecalls to keep connected, wiped our tears and made us dinner, and who continue to be there for us despite our protracted and thus far unfruitful struggle. Grateful for all of you women who find it in your hearts to check in with me on this blog or through email and also share your stories. You give me such vivid examples of how one fights this hard fight, and I draw much strenght from seeing how you pick yourselves up from the depths and find it in yourselves to keep fighting. I am grateful for being healthy enough to attempt another DE IVF.

I am awaiting further instruction from SG. I suspect that we will be adding estr.ace PV and that I will head back there for monitoring next week. I may also be driving over the boarder soon to pick up more Dele.strogen. I will keep you posted.


*the most salient example in mind is the one of the day of Sattva's retrieval, when I lost my parking ticket and realized this only once I got to the gate. I had to run into the parking office and pay the full day's worth of parking, not to mention hold up traffic for 10 minutes. But I didn't care too much. I had my very dear Sattva in the car and 6 eggs fertilizing upstairs.