Eggs

My body has never produced eggs. The sum total of eggs I've ever produced is 0. Never ovulated. 99.99% likely that I never will. The circumference of all the eggs I should have produced in my reproductive years is the distance between us and our child. Today, we were able to start bridging that span.

We met at the clinic at 8am for the egg retrieval. Sattva looked tired, and said her belly was very unhappy. She also couldn't have coffee on the way over. I felt pretty bad for her, and just wanted the procedure to be over so she could start to feel some relief. We were all invited to the prep/recovery room where we stayed while she went in for the procedure. Once they got her on IV, and gave her antibiotics, things went pretty quickly. They wheeled her out of there and brought her back within 20 minutes. She seemed drowsy, but she was doing great, and able to have something to drink and eat right away after the procedure. Sattva started crying when telling me there were only 6 eggs. And all I could think and try to convey was that 6 was infinitely more than 0. The nurse caught this, and said under her breath that we were so cute. It felt more like poignant for me, but I caught the spirit of what she was saying. I guess there is something inherently and universally beautiful about an act of such altruistic proportions. I held my tears back, with my ever present clinician hat on, thinking I have to be strong when someone is feeling vulnerable.

Sattva was given tyl.enol 3s, ate some food and had a little nap, while Mr. August and I sat beside her. Just before we left, Mr. A was called to produce his sample. He was gone a long time and I was nervous that he was getting performance anxiety. He told me that the sample-producing room was in a hallway with traffic, and that it was pretty distracting when trying to get the job done. I was sending him sexy vibes. He finally came back with a smug expression, which I took as an excellent sign. The lab gave us the go ahead to leave, meaning that the sample was adequate.

When Sattva was changing, I asked the nurse about whether there was a high likelihood that we wouldn't be called back for Friday, meaning that none of the eggs would turn into embryos. Her face said it all when she expressed that this was unlikely. Having never gone through IVF, I wanted her opinion on this. I also wanted to reassure myself and Sattva. The nurse felt it was likely that we would get 2 good fresh embryos, and that embryos to freeze would be a bonus. Again, starting from nothing, I feel overjoyed at this prospect. The nurse could tell that I was anxious and suggested that she have our Nurse Case Manager call us tomorrow with an interim update on the embies. The lab will call Thursday afternoon with the fertilization report.

Mr. August, who had rented a car to get himself and Sattva over to FTT from Pleasantville, went to visit parents while Sattva and I returned home. We had a good conversation about work in the car, and then it was time to take her pain meds again, and she fell asleep. I dropped her off very groggy, and was glad to see that her husband was home. My next stop was my favourite flower shop to order a beautiful bunch of spring flowers for our beloved Sattva. I got it from the same flower shop that did our wedding flowers.

And now I must sign off and work on prepping for the defense.  I will keep you posted as we hear from the clinic. I am feeling optimistic, and very blessed.